I was chuffed and readily accepted. The challenge starts here really and I wrote my first piece this morning which I sent over to Chris and he’s already posted it on the forum, though I can’t make the link work – oh the irony!

Hmm maybe this: 3rd Party Viewing in All Walks of Life

Love the title – which Chris came up with – and hopefully I’ll get a bit more exposure as a result of the Forum, who knows.

The content of the first article is really just an opener, I don’t want to climb straight in with Multiple Attribution, or Voucher Codes, or anything about the UK Affiliate Industry right away… it’s a leaning in. We’ve been banging on about customer journey with a couple of our clients lately, and I think it’s a really important point to make. I’ve tried to make it a “from customer’s journey point of view”. Fuck knows whether anyone will care, but all the same it’s hopefully the start of something for me to air my views somewhere other than the usual rant I throw out of here.

Aaaaaanyway……

Some of the highlights are:

- Tame Impala (seeing them at Cargo next week!) – AWESOME!!
- Detroit Social Club – wicked lead vocals, nice riffs, big chorals
- Holy Fuck – awesome instrumentals
- Nick Cave – classic poems in music
- Grateful Dead – 60s American folk rock, not what I was expecting (MB)

Any suggestions welcome – ping ‘em in – we’ll play it and talk about you..!!

I’ve lived in that flat for nearly 7 years, and I’ve become a little bit set in my ways in there, though have to say i love it inside the flat, I’m not taken completely by its location, nor by the ground floor appointment, and the vertically adjacent neighbours. I know their noises better than I know some of my own. I’ll hear a noise from the kitchen perhaps and rush in to see what it might be. When I hear a sound from above that sounds like a body being sawn up, dragged across the floor and stuffed into a deep, heavy, wooden box, and the box then dragged to a hidden place, I am disturbed only by the interruption to my evening’s TV viewing, or book reading.

I’ve taken to watching movies or catch up TV on my laptop with good earphones, the screen resolution is excellent, and the sounds are too. I put the laptop on a neoprene cover on my lap so i don’t feel discomfort over time from the battery heating my lap up.

The convalescence from injury and subsequent chest infection forced a change in my habituals within the flat. Straight after the accident I had no use of my left arm, and as a left hander that was a struggle. I didn’t work at all for a whole week and that was unpleasant.

As a self made and self sustained man, not doing any work causes erosion. None of my clients were getting any work, support, insight, reports, nuggets, and that is a huge risk to my business, and livelihood.  The heavy duty painkillers I was taking were causing unpleasant side effects – nausea, itching, paranoia, hallucinations, and anxiety.  Awesome. I started to really worry about where my life was heading, what I was doing in that flat, why I had this strange routine, and why nothing really happened inside the flat.

When the coughing kicked in and I couldn’t sleep at night, things took a turn.  I went to the docs and picked up some antibiotics, which really put me off my food, not that I was eating a lot, but I started to get a bit depressed too I think.  Just too many things to deal with which were alien and personal. I was on a 7 day course which I completed sans alcohol though it didn’t specify not to drink, I just thought it would be a good idea.

Then it was Isle of Wight – a huge family get together to celebrate my Uncle & Aunt’s 60th birthday (twins). They threw a big party on the Saturday after their actual birthday, which was ok, but happened to be the 1st anniversary of Dad’s death, so it was a funny day for me personally, on top of the emotional journey I’d been on over the last few weeks. The camping was alright, though that took away any chance of early and complete recovery from the chest infection, and I smoked heavily throughout the weekend – I have no idea why, perhaps an inkling that I wanted somehow to subconsciously bond with Dave – my Aunt’s husband (3rd) and often a real battle to mix with. We got on fine so worth it defo.  Had a few good chats with him, which makes a big change.

After that, back to London, and the anxiety returned immediately the moment I walked into the flat – work, lack of doing any – have to get back into this, have work to do, like doing the work, can find more, and get paid more, like getting paid good money for doing good work, worries about why I wasn’t focused.  All this shit and a bottle of Pinot Grigio on a Sunday night.

Woke up with a cracked mouth and totally blocked sinuses, like a mad allergy. A reaction to my whereabouts.  Becoming allergic to myself even? No please not that.

Jumped on a train – with a few clothes, a book and my laptop – on the Thursday, Euston – Bangor 3 hours, been up here a week tomorrow, needed a breath of fresh air, change of scene, different beat, a new song.  Well it was all that and more for a couple of days, I sloped about with a real cloud over me, a real worry about a whole lot of things, and no smile, no stories, just a proclamation of exhaustion and the need to rest.  My family were good to me, caring, enquiring, thoughtful, not pushy, and then I was struck down with tonsilitis. I self-quarantined while my brother and his wife entertained visitors for the weekend, and I slept, watched iPlayer, read (the Dragon Tattoo book – it’s ace) and crept out slitty eyed into the light to get disprin fixes. 48 hour self imposed, docs Monday, antibiotics – good ones this time, throat’s not so sore now.

Cloud’s gone, sunshine is around, I’ve been working properly again since Monday and got a real desire to push this forward, picked up an improved contract, and potentially 2 or 3 bits of new direction, want to make it work, and loving working up here.  You can step outside and see the skyline.  There are bats at night.  No-one is upstairs, not where I work and sleep anyway.  I need for nothing save what’s in the bag I brought. All the crap piling up in my flat is worthless.  Except maybe the odd bit of mail, some books, bits of silver, and a box with some amber in it.  Couple of t-shirts, old photographs, paintings, my tea mug. There’s a pig in the garden here. Hens run about.  There are two cats.  And a rabbit.  There’s another pig coming soon.

I’m enjoying working remotely.  Satellite.

I’ve recently worked out why we are built the way we are. So two limbs top and bottom that both do the same thing, but opposing. Imagine if we had a strong hoppy leg and a smaller, leaning leg for standing around and directing and leaning. Like a bike stand as well when stationery.

I fractured a bone in my elbow last week. today’s the first day of proper typing, not one or two fingered right hand plonking. it feels good, though not got the CAPS lock yet. oohh there was one..

Am watching Series 3 Hustle and have to say it’s shit compared to Series 1 and 2. I’m on final episode and they’ve brought in Paul Nicholls (?) ex Eastenders for a shite Sheffield pretending to be cockney. Rubbish.

Sad to read today about the demise of dgm UK.  Gone into administration according to reports.  I’m surprised they lasted as long as they did.  the company was broken in 2004.  What a shame that a business idea with so much potential was handled by a megalomaniac, sociopathic, sycophantic despot. Ivan the Terrible had a point. What is wrong with killing those closest to you? Oh yes they are the people who believe in your idea. What happens without them? You make new deputies. How good are the new deputies? About half as good as the last lot. How many people worked at dgm is not testament to the successes of the business.

You didn’t think that did you?

That said the luminaries of my generation worked there: Fionn Hyndman, Peter Rowe, Nicky Iapino, Rob Berrisford, Christian Panayi, Natalie Perry, Kev Edwards, James Hawkins, Duncan Popham, Helen Collins, Chris Quelch. What about me Brownie come the cries from Luke Pursey, Nicky Applegarth, Simon Robinson, Ross Travill, Mumtaz Khamker, Spratt Ebako, Elizabeth Adeniji, Bruce Clayton, Chris Garner, Mandy Baker, Newaz Islam and Richard Way. (Not all at once though that could be something for the A4u Charity Auction run by of course none other than Kevin “The Wake” Edwards.)

I dumb it down on my CV these days, not that I use one.  Occasionally for volunteering purposes.  I put Deal Group Media plc. People ask about Deal Group Media plc; no-one asks about dgm.  Shit idea at the time (all in lower case, no capitals..) thought out by Adrian Moss and Adam (Marketing bloke, launched (lunched) Loaded). Nice try Simon Trigg; bad execution Andrew “007″ Dickson, bad idea Carl Davis.

Aaaaaaanyway my heart and the hearts of the crew at Hatmatic send our condolences to the guys at dgm – them’s the breaks.  May you rise from the ashes of administration and form a new company with no debts and no outstanding invoices. Ha – you fucking wish – “PAY YOUR BILLS” is the cry from the Steeple of Affiliates (just by Budden’s Hope).

Come back 2004 – here’s a chance to secure No. 1 spot.  What was that? “Affiliate Window? – Noooo – they’ll never go far… run by a chancer…”

Farewell sweet times, memories linger on (until the Co-dydramol kicks in at least).

I’ve seen things, I’ve heard stuff, I’ve travelled, I’ve listened to incredible tales, I’ve learnt a heck of a lot. I have recently been doing amazing things, and it’s not going to stop.

So apologies to my merry band of faithful followers. This blog is not dead; it’s just resting while I open out my soul to the world before me.

The panel was moderated by Marcus Rader from Trade Tracker – an interesting man from Finland, now working out of Amsterdam.  Also attending the panel were Ricki Jones (Impact Radius) and Caroline Ferguson (leads2travel).  I thought it went well, we had about 100 people listening, and I saw a few ‘old faces’ in the crowd, which helped me get comfortable with my surroundings.  It felt a bit odd to begin with, because I was thinking “do these people care about what I have to say?”.  I settled in quite quickly, and enjoyed throwing my hat into the ring.  The session took about 50 mins in total, and we had a fair few questions at the end from members of the audience so that was good.  Afterwards I saw a number of people who were getting ready to go to the airport as the Expo was well and truly oer for them, most of whom were still broken from the night before, which I missed thankfully due to my timings.  I also sat in on an excellent session moderated by Duncan Popham of TSS fame, and attended by Tina Judic (Artemis 8) and Sri Sharma (Net Media Planet).  Three of my favourite people in Affiliate Marketing, and got to chat with them more in the hotel bar afterwards.

So to the bar for a few vodka sodas and then eventually on to the second night party hosted by Existem – at 089 club in town.  Lots of vodka there, and Singstar where I was fortunate to take the stage with the lovely ladies from Lastminute – Lina and Emma.  James Little was very entertaining as ever, although sadly the video footage I took of him wasn’t as successful as that taken by Chris Johnson the previous night. It was dark, and James was barely audible.  Luckily someone else did get him on film.  Read about Chris’s version of events here:

Off the Record – 21st May 2010

Meanwhile Liane Dietrich (Linkshare) and Lee Brignall Cash (Fusepump) ruined a perfectly good 80s hit with their horrific rendition (of what I do not know, nor recall). This alas did not make it to video either. The incentive for “Singers” to “sing” wasn’t only global notoriety, but a free tumbler of Prosecco – wooooo – and I did take to the podium with Lina and Emma from Lastminute for that timeless number, Club Tropicana by Wham!

The following morning, after a badly timed conference call with a prospective client, I left the Hilton at 12 noon and took a taxi over to meet Sarah Arti for lunch which was a top hour spent chatting (English) and eating (Italian) – needed a carb load after last night’s shenanigans.  Washed down with a couple of colas, and a peppermint tea.  I know. Crazy.

I then took the U-Bahn (underland), which after much time cursing the overly complicated ticket machine, I bought a single fare and started planning.  I had a meeting booked in at Allianz Arena, which was cancelled last minute, by the chap I was supposed to meet.  Mildly frustrating but he said he is in London next week and we can catch up then – prob best as my brain isn’t working properly right now – again a by-product of late vodka and shouting charged night.

Anyway having grappled with the ticket machine I managed to get a single journey and jumped on.  The U-Bahn is very old school – a lot of Munich I have seen feels a bit like a retro version of now and the u-bahn is a perfect example of this.  Lots of concrete, bold primary colours – reds, yellows.  The train pulls in and it’s a pale metallic blue.  Looks like the train Triumph should have built.  A long Toledo.  Possible even an Austin Princess.  Inside is all hardwood and shiny surfaces. and very comfortable, firm seats.

I’m listening to the Rifles at this point and in the guide book (which isn’t great though serves purpose) I notice a wicked looking church tower – the Herz-Jesu-Kirche.  It was remarkable and literally took my breath away.  I had a wander around there, then sat and contemplated the power of God, and the love of His people.  Whomsoever built this certainly loves God. A lady there said that when the sun shines the whole front of the church is opened up – it’s a huge 45 foot high blue glass door. The detail on the glass panels are hundreds of tiny nails – a reference to Jesus and his being nailed to a cross.  There is also a large installation of the crucifixion itself – quite daunting in fact – in wood on the wall directly behind the blue door.

From there I walked and I have walked all day with plenty of things keeping my mind busy, not least now my own relationhip with God, His plans for me, my endless numbered days, and such things.  The North West area of the city is delightful – lots of interesting dwellings and greenery and I decided to wander further North as I had seen on another may that the Olympiapark was just North of where my guide book map ends.

There are bicycles everywhere in Munich. They are ridden along the miles of dedicated bicycle paths, which put London’s attempts to shame. They are propped up against trees, unlocked.  They are lined up outside residences, adorned with baskets front and back, and pannier baskets.  They often have stands so they stand alone on the side of a pavement.

Pulling my wheelie bag behind me – my trusty steed by my side I walked until I saw in the distance the big Tower that is central to the Olympic site.  I walked across a large stretch of wasteland (parkland) gravel, and the tower got bigger.  I then entered the main site and that too is pretty impressive – you can smell the history.  Munich 72 is remembered because of the killings by Palestinian gunmen of innocent Israeli sportspersons, which is a shame because the site and the various stadia are incredible – very Pompidou.  Looks too modern to be built 4 decades ago, and that’s testament to the designers.  It looks a bit like a zoo in fact. One can easily imagine the place teeming with colours and flags of the World’s nations.  I hope London 2012 holds some of its own history as well.

I am wandering about chatting to myself all day, which at that point makes me wonder if I’m going a bit mad.  It starts to make sense to me that other people do the same, and that in itself is a worrying sign.  I’ve also come up with some start of a new song.  It’s a reference to plastic surgery, revenge, dodgy practitioners, the porn industry and the misguided actions of people in deceit.  Yes that’s better.  The chorus goes: “You fucked their faces, fucked their faces, fucked their faces, now they’re going to fuck you”.  I think it’s got legs.

While walking through the Olympic park towards the base of the tower I notice a big building in the background with the BMW sign.  BMW HQ! Writing this I am sitting inside BMW Welt, which is mind-blowing. It is difficult to describe but here goes.

It is a architecturally acclaimed building, which serves as a consumer and corporate customer facing physical representation of the BMW brand.  The structure itself is about the size of two football pitches, and is spread over4 or 5 floors.  The entry level floor is basically put a huge car showroom. Ragtops on the right coming in – Z4, 118i, 318i, 650i – climb in any of them (I haven’t). Couple of emergency vehicle examples. Upstairs is like a model of a garage you had when you were little except it’s real.  There is a motorcycle display area, and it’s all bonkers frankly.  Every single item in here is built to top spec.  The doors, the lifts, the loos, the seats at the café, the tables at the café, the ambient sounds, the coffee, the floors, everything.  Lights, handrails, TV screens, salespeople. It is a physical manifestation of BMW’s version of perfection.  I’m not even a huge fan of BMW – well I wasn’t but I am now. It’s like a modern art gallery, fun fair, Rhyl Sun Centre all rolled into one, then lots of shiny cars have been added. There’s a tour apparently but I think I might go madder if I went on that.

It’s good to sit down too, though am feeling bit jaded now despite a massive kick in the glands from the Black Americano I asked form but the octuple espresso I seem to have been served.

I have seen one black person so far in Germany – working the checkout at a local minimart. Bavaria really is the home of the white man.  Not the white supremacist as far as I can tell.  It is a strange omission though, well not an omission but a lack thereof. The Bavarians are a proud people though, and I heard on more than one occasion that they do not like the French.  I happily introduced my origin as Wales, or as walisisch.  The Germans like the Welsh, and it must be said the Welsh travel better.

The weather outside is grim, wet and cold in fact, but in here the weather is perfect.  Not too warm (like a usual museum), plenty of fresh air, a hint of air con. I fly back to Gatwick in 4 hours time.  If I can find a piece of pork and a glass of Bavarian beer then I can then legitimately say I’ve made a fist of Munich.  As it is I make a knuckle, or rather order a knuckle – on the advice of Andy and Thorsten – two men I make the acquaintance of in a traditional Bavarian brauhaus near the centre of Munich.

Soon after a large plate of food arrives, which looked not unlike this – a huge joint of pork knuckle, and the meat is very tasty and plump.  It comes in a thin gravy, with a round white doughy potato dumpling, and a side bowl of cold, white sauerkraut.  The beer is good also.  I order a small beer and it came as a pint; apparently a standard is the 2-pint stein.

And that’s me.  Off to the Flughafen and flight back to UK.  Munich is a fascinating town, and I will certainly return, if not for the celebrated white sausage, then for the Allianz Arena. Danke schoen.

Well I’m excited to report that I’ll be heading over to Munich on the 19th May, to attend the A4u Expo in Munich.

The event is organised by Matthew Wood of Existem and A4UForum fame, and I have been invited by Marcus Rader from Tradetracker to guest on a panel discussing online & offline convergence, and I think how and when we will start seeing the pay on performance model in offline media. This is a fascinating subject – the stats back up the huge potential for the offline space to move into the Performance realm.  Here’s my profile for the event:  my A4uExpo profile

Also on the panel will be Ricki Jones, from Impact Radius UK, a chap called Tom from tom.de, a lady called Caroline Ferguson from Leads2Travel in Holland, and Marcus himself moderating.

Having worked in offline media back in the 90s and understanding clients needs to understand sales uplift and return on investment, before this whole affiliate world came to life, it will be fascinating to hear what some of these guys have to say.  The ROI of old was based on the factor of fear: ‘what will happen to my sales if I stop advertising?’ This was particularly true of TV advertising. I worked on the COI account in my last ‘nonline’ media role, and there we trialled unique URLs in press ads encouraging consumers to visit these particular pages, more so that we could track which ads in which titles were being followed up; it didn’t give the consumer anything, and it didn’t really work.

Offering consumers something special, something unique, something desirable, in return for them visiting a designated URL would be the way forward, and this would be a tactical deployment to attract new customers by offering them something they otherwise wouldn’t get.  Otherwise where’s the incentive not to just go brand via Google, then to Voucher Code, then to site.

I know Impact Radius business model in the US and UK is to build performance-based relationships across media. So far in the UK, we haven’t seen this statement result in any live campaigns offline, and it will be interesting to hear about progress there.

I’m also going to dig out some stats on share of market, gaps, opportunities, anything anyone might already be up to in the nonline performance space (I know they are calling it something else), just to have a couple of mixed metaphors up my sleeve.  Rabbits I think.

If you’re going to the Expo I’ll be around most of the day on the 19th, and also for the evening networking event, and also for most of the day on the 20th, so pop by the stand… oh no hang on… er…I’ll be loitering around the stands of my UK buddies…

I hope this brings some joy and memory to some of you too.

Hatmatic III

First off though El Parador was excellent – very good tapas menu, run by the guy who until very recently owned the William IV pub in Kensal Green.  As he said “when they opened up they were one of two gastro-pubs; there are now 14 in the area!” Good business timing I say. At El Parador it’s done really nicely inside, very good menu – the steak and artichoke was top, as was the samphire. You can book for tables of 3 or more. Big up to the staff at El Parador.

The Dap-Kings warmed the crowd up nicely, then on came the minute Sharon Jones – what a voice.  Great show and some classic soul number and some dancing in the aisles rock-jive I think it’s called.  Oh I don’t know.  I wore my gig hat and that worked.  Otherwise I was style and mode oblivious. As usual.

Sun in – The Beak